True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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