fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
