Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
