Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
