Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
