you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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