tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize