You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
