You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
