i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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