Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think people are normalizing furries
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
