Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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