My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
