Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
