I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
