): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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