I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Is this like a preordered booty call?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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