It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
