i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
