he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I touched a dick in church today
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
