Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
