I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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