why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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