he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
