well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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