I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
