you didnt know i had herpes?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize