So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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