I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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