I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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