My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
