You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
