i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
