Can i not drive my cunt home
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
