I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
