I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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