a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize