I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
