Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
