The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
