So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
