That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
