I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Im part way to drunk.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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