im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
