kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
