I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize