Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
