we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dicks are not precious.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
