question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
