Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize