Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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