He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
