You just made me feel so damn special
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
