Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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