Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
