first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
