it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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