my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
