In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
