So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize