Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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