i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
