so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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