We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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