I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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