Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
