You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
