sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
