you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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