I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
