great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
