so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize