No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize