there was a trapeze. enough said
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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