She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
