I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
